Back to December
by Heavenly Me
Summary: Based on Taylor Swift's Back to December. Please read and review.


Okay, so uhm... Enjoy!

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_I'm so glad you made time to see me._

"Natsume." I greeted him. He gave me a nod to acknowledge my presence.

"Thank you for meeting with me." He eyed me warily. I couldn't blame him, after all I've done to him.

_Past lives, tell me how's your family._

_I haven't seen them in awhile._

"So... How's Aoi?... And Kaoru?"I asked to break the awkwardness.

"They're okay."

"Oh." This is really awkward.

_You've been good, busier than ever._

"Uhm... How are you?"

"I'm okay. Busy."

"Oh." Sigh. Another futile attempt.

_Small talk, working the weather._

"The weather is nice. Nice time for a picnic." You stiffened. Oh, I shouldn't have said that. Way to go, Mikan.

_Your guard is up and I know why._

"Sorry..." I can see hurt etched into your eyes. Your guard is up. You don't trust me anymore. It took me a long time to earn your trust and it took only one night to crush it back down. You eyed my every move, trying to see through me. It hurt. It really did. Though I don't blame you. It was my fault.

_Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind._

It's my fault. You probably still remember what I did to you. It was harsh. I know. I'm sorry, but I had no choice.

_You gave me roses and I left them there to die._

I still remember it like it was yesterday. You gave me such beautiful roses. And what did I do? I threw them at your feet, leaving them there to die.

_So this is me swallowing my pride,_

_Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. _

_And I'd go back to December all the time._

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,_

_Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine._

_I'd go back to December turn around and make it all right._

_I'd go back to December all the time._

"Natsume" I smiled. "This is for you. It's a letter... from me." You eyed me again.

_These days I haven't been sleeping._

Dear Natsume,

I haven't had a good night sleep ever since that night. It haunted me. Your eyes, I still remember them. The hurt, the pain, and the betrayal.

_Staying up, playing back, myself bleeding._

Every night, I stay up late. Thinking about you, about us. Thinking about our memories. I miss them,but not as much as I miss you. My feelings for you haven't changed. I still love you.

_When your birthday passed and I didn't call._

I remember one time, it was your birthday and I didn't call. Then Aoi told me that you waited by the phone all day nad when it was clear that I wouldn't call, you dejectedly walked into your room.

_And I think about summer all the beautiful times._

Now, I think about summer when we still had no worries. We were so carefree like teenagers. I miss hanging out with you.

_I watched you laughing from the passenger side._

I also remember you laughing at the passenger side. You were teaching me how to drive then. I almost knocked out an old lady! Then we realized that it was Narumi. You couldn't stop laughing!

_And realized I loved you in the fall._

I remember the day that i fell in love with you. It was fall then we were playing with the leaves. You remember that? Then I fell on top of you. One look into your eyes and i knew. I knew how much I love you. It was our first kiss then. You stole it from me but I was happy nonetheless. It was also the day when we started dating. Oh! I remember when you asked me to be you girlfriend. I was so happy I could have died.

_And then the cold came the dark days_

_When fear crept into my mind._

It was late October. I was driving and we got into an accident. You were in critical condition. Your Mom talked to me. She told me to stay away from you. I told her no. She threatened to kill my family. I refused to leave you. I loved you so much. Then she told me that she would kill you. Time stood still. How could she do that to you? Her own son. She told me that you were no use if you dated someone like me. She told that it was better if you were dead. I didn't want that. I had no choice I had to leave. It was better if you were alive and hated me rather than you being dead.

_You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye._

It was December 5. It was our anniversary then. You refused to believe your Mom. You called to meet me for a picnic in the night. You couldn't imagine my happiness. I wanted to run to you and hug you. I really did. It was that day. That day when you asked me to marry you. How much i wanted to say yes, you'll never know. You gave me roses and you bought this beautiful ring. I had to say no. You couldn't die. I'm sorry for hurting you.

_So this is me swallowing my pride,_

_Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. _

_And i'd go back to December all the time._

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,_

_Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine._

_I'd go back to December turn around and my own mind._

_I'd go back to December all the time._

So here I am writing this letter to you. To tell you how much i love you and how sorry I am.

_I miss your tan skin your sweet smile,_

I miss everything about you. From your tan skin to your sweet smile.

_so good to me,_

You were so good to me and I don't deserve you.

_so right_

But you know what? Whenever I'm with you it felt so right.

_and how you held me in your arms that September night the first time you ever saw me cry._

I remember the day my mother died. It was September 23. I cried so hard but you never grew tired. You held me all night. It was the first time you ever saw me cry.

_Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming_

Maybe I'm wishing for the impossible. But I can't help thinking what if. What if I never left you.

_But if we loved again i swear I'd love you right._

If we were ever together again. If I had another chance. I swear I'd love you right.

_I'd go back in time and change it but I can't._

I'd go back in time and change everything. I would never leave you but I can't.

_So if the chain is on your door I understand._

If you never want to talk to me, to see me again, I'd understand.

_But this is me swallowing my pride,_

_Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. _

_And I'd go back to December,_

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,_

_Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine._

_I'd go back to December turn around and make it all right._

_I'd go back to December turn around and my own mind._

_I'd go back to December all the time, all the time._

I just want you to know how much I love you and how sorry I am.

Natsume, I love you. I've never stopped loving you.

Love, Mikan

I watched you reading the letter. Your face held no emotion. Then finally you finished reading and looked at me. I held your hand and said, "I just wanted you to know. I have to go now." I stood up and got ready to leave.

"So that's it? You wrote this letter and what? You expect me to forgive you after what you've done to me." He said.

"Natsume, I don't expect anything. I know what I've done and I've regretted it until today." I sat back down. "but I just wanted you to know. I don't want this. I never did."

"You think I want this either? I don't. Look at me! I'm a multibillionaire businessman and I can't even get over a girl who broke my heart!"

I cried. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that I've done. I'm sorry for ruining your life! If you don't want to forgive me just tell me! If you don't want to see me, if you want me to die just tell me! I'd gladly die for you! I'll do anything just so you'll be happy. I love you so much."

His eyes softened. "I never wanted you to die. Even after I got hurt I still can't help thinking about you. Mikan, I love you, too. But we can't continue being like this. I don't think we can still be friends after everything that's happened."

"I understand. I love you, Natsume. Goodbye."I prepared to leave again.

"No, wait. I'm not finished. Mikan, even after what has happened, I also don't think that I'll be ever to live without you. I need you in my life. So, how about we forget everything and start over."

"What do you mean?"

"Mikan, will you be my girlfriend again?"

"Yes, Natsume. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Then we kissed.

* * *

So, this is my second story. It's based on Taylor Swift' song. I really love her. She's got such a great voice and write such great songs. I would really love it if you review. No flames please. But I'd love it if you critic me. I'm not that good of a writer so if I make any mistakes, please inform me. Thanks!


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